how things change

i don't know the name for it but i know its essence well. it is the thing inside of me without sense and patience. so devoid of emotion i grasp blindly on anything new and wish for the best regardless of its substance. i don't think about it. it is what it is in the moment i grab it and that is how it remains. that is until i decide i was foolish and enter a new feeling that i grasp and withold from all other contemplative angles. it is. it is not. that is all i know. then i don't know and i am confused and forlorn for that which i had known is now lost and that which is unknown is ever present and daunting. i don't know much. i know nothing at all. counter is the same as its opposite, whatever that is. it is all the same to me. it is all just a moment in time and i am unable to define it for it is always changing, always leaving my grasp. i hold on tight but there it goes. i know nothing. i don't know what to do with nothing and i don't know what to do with anything at all. this is how it is but even now i'm not sure. uncertainty manifested into certainty and then back again. and so it goes and so it remains. i must know something though i can't place my finger on it.